How to Play Fat Santa: A Christmas Game for Everyone

Holiday traditions getting too serious for your taste? Between perfect table settings and color-coordinated gift wrap, we’ve forgotten how to be ridiculous.

Seriously, when was the last time you looked at your family’s holiday shenanigans and thought, This belongs on a blooper reel?

Well this year, the Fat Santa Christmas game is gonna burst onto the scene like an overfilled balloon, reminding us that sometimes the best family moments come from embracing the absurd.

Honestly, nothing says “season’s greetings” quite like laughing so hard you nearly spill your eggnog.

Let’s get started.

The Basics: How to Play Fat Santa

What You’ll Need:

• Oversized clothes: Think sweats, XXL T-shirts, or that hilariously large Christmas sweater someone inevitably brings up every year. (Yes, Aunt Linda, we’re talking about the one with the sequined reindeer.)
• Balloons: LOTS of balloons. Like, “Are we throwing a clown convention after this?” levels of balloons.
• A timer: Because chaos is better when it’s time-limited.
• Volunteers: One brave soul per team to be the “Santa” (or, as they’ll probably feel by the end, a human piñata). It’s always the one who says, “This will be easy,” who regrets it the most.

The Objective:

Stuff as many balloons as you can into your team’s “Santa” before time runs out.

Then, if you’re feeling extra mischievous, make your Santa attempt a silly task without losing any balloons.

(Think: waddling across the room, bending down to pick up a cookie, or, for the bold, singing “Jingle Bells” in their new helium-filled glory.)

Setting Up: Prep Work for Fat Santa is Key

1. Divide into Teams
   Two or more, depending on how many people are willing to risk their dignity. (Pro tip: bribing a sibling with cookies works wonders for recruiting.)
   
2. Pick Your Santas
   Choose one person per team to don the oversized outfit. Bonus points if they give a hearty “Ho, ho, ho!” while doing it.
   
3. Blow Up Balloons
   Get your teams to inflate their balloons. This can be done beforehand, but where’s the fun in that? Watching your cousin go cross-eyed while blowing up balloons at lightning speed is part of the charm.

Game Time: Let the Stuffing Begin!

1. Start the Clock: Set a timer (2-3 minutes is a good range) and yell “GO!” with as much dramatic flair as possible. (This is crucial. Half the game is in the announcement.) If you don’t channel your inner game show host, you’re doing it wrong.
   
2. Stuff Those Balloons: Teams race to blow up balloons and cram them into their Santa’s outfit. Strategy is key: arms, legs, the back of the shirt—every nook and cranny is fair game. Don’t forget the golden rule: no one wants to be the person who popped the balloon that started the chain reaction.
   
3. Count ‘Em Up: When the timer buzzes, everyone steps back, probably gasping for air. Count how many balloons are successfully stuffed inside each Santa. And if someone inevitably tries to argue about a popped balloon, feel free to remind them, “This isn’t the Olympics.”
   

Declaring the Winner

The team with the most balloons stuffed wins eternal glory—or at least bragging rights until next Christmas.

If there’s a tie, throw in a tiebreaker: perhaps a “Fat Santa Waddle-Off” or a dramatic “Who Can Keep Their Balloons Intact the Longest?” showdown.

Pro Tips for Maximum Fun with Fat Santa

• Use strong balloons. Cheap ones pop faster than Uncle Jerry’s patience during tech support calls.
• Test the outfits. Make sure the clothes are loose enough to hold a decent number of balloons. (Too tight? Congratulations, you’ve just created Balloon Explosion 101.)
• Watch the sharp objects. No scissors, jewelry, or overly enthusiastic pets near the Santa. Remember that one year when the dog thought the balloons were chew toys? Yeah, don’t repeat that.
• Get creative with challenges. The sillier, the better. Think “musical chairs for Santas” or “who can drink eggnog through a straw without deflating?”

Hilarious Fat Santa Challenges

Here’s a list of 20 hilariously fun things your Fat Santa can do as part of this silly challenge:

1. Gift Pick-Up: Bend down to pick up a wrapped gift without popping a balloon or letting any fall out.
2. Jingle Jog: Shuffle in a circle while loudly singing “Jingle Bells” without dropping balloons.
3. Cookie Catch: Lean down to grab a cookie off a plate using only your mouth (no hands allowed).
4. Snowball Toss: Try to toss “snowballs” (crumpled paper) into a bucket while keeping the balloons in your suit.
5. Chimney Crawl: Crawl under a table or through an obstacle labeled “chimney” without deflating the outfit.
6. Balloon Bounce: Balance a balloon on a wooden spoon while waddling back and forth.
7. Elf Escape: Lie down and attempt to stand back up without popping or losing balloons.
8. Slipper Slide: Shuffle across the room wearing oversized slippers (or boxes taped to your feet) WITHOUT losing balloons.
9. Rooftop Crawl: Army crawl across a rug or floor while keeping the balloons securely tucked in.
10. Jingle Bell Jumping Jacks: Jump in place while jingling bells tied to your arms or legs, trying not to pop balloons.

Personal Note: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Oh, everything. Balloons WILL pop. Someone WILL get overly competitive. Your living room may end up looking like the aftermath of a balloon animal massacre.

And yet, it will be glorious. (Let’s just say if this isn’t in your family’s highlight reel for years to come, I’ll eat a balloon. Or not. That sounds dangerous.)